How to Choose the Right Realtor: What Really Matters

Choosing a Realtor can feel deceptively simple.

You may already know an agent. A friend may recommend someone. You might find a Realtor through Google, social media, a listing you saw online, or an open house. And because there are plenty of agents to choose from, it can be tempting to assume they all essentially provide the same service.

They don’t.

Real estate transactions involve far more than opening doors, putting a property in the MLS, or writing an offer. There are ethics involved, pricing decisions, negotiations, inspections, financing, appraisals, deadlines, contracts, unexpected problems, personalities, and sometimes some very emotional decisions along the way.

The Realtor you choose will be beside you through all of it.

So whether you’re buying your first home, selling a property you’ve owned for decades, relocating, investing, or trying to coordinate a sale and purchase at the same time, choosing the right Realtor deserves more consideration than simply asking, “Who do I know who’s in real estate?”

Here is what I believe really matters.

Start With Communication and Responsiveness

One of the first things I would evaluate is how an agent communicates with you.

And responsiveness isn’t simply about answering a phone quickly.

A good Realtor should be able to explain complicated information in a way that makes sense, tell you what is happening and what happens next, answer questions without making you feel like you’re bothering them, and communicate proactively rather than waiting for you to ask for an update.

Pay attention to your earliest interactions.

Do they listen?

Do they answer the question you actually asked?

Do they explain their process?

Do they ask questions about your goals before they start telling you what you should do?

Those early conversations can tell you quite a bit about what working together may look like later.

Communication becomes especially important once you’re under contract. In The Top Reasons Deals Fall Apart (and How to Avoid Them), I discussed how many different pieces have to come together between contract and closing. Good communication among the buyer, seller, agents, lender, title company, inspectors, appraiser, and other professionals can make an enormous difference when something unexpected happens.

You don’t want to discover how your Realtor communicates for the first time when there’s a problem.

Look for Strategy, Not Just Activity

There is a difference between an agent who is busy and an agent who is strategic.

A Realtor’s job isn’t simply to complete tasks. It’s to help you understand your options and think through the consequences of different decisions.

For buyers, strategy might involve deciding:

• how aggressively to structure an offer;
• whether a higher-days-on-market property presents an opportunity;
• which contingencies matter;
• when to negotiate and when not to;
• how a particular property fits your long-term goals; or
• whether waiting actually improves your position.

For sellers, strategy may involve pricing, preparation, presentation, timing, marketing, showing feedback, negotiations, and knowing when the market is telling us something needs to change.

This is one reason I wrote Proactive vs. Reactive Listing Agents: Why It Matters When Selling Your Home. Putting a home on the market is an action. Developing a strategy for what happens before and after it hits the market is representation.

The same principle applies to buyers.

A good Realtor shouldn’t simply ask, “Do you want to write an offer?”

They should help you understand what you’re considering.

Experience Matters — But Ask What That Experience Has Taught Them

Years in the business and number of transactions absolutely matter. Experience exposes an agent to different properties, negotiations, market conditions, financing situations, inspections, appraisal issues, and problems that aren’t covered in a textbook.

I’ve completed over 150 home sales, and one of the greatest benefits of that experience isn’t simply the number itself.

It’s pattern recognition.

After enough transactions, you begin recognizing potential issues earlier. You know which questions to ask. You understand that something unusual doesn’t automatically mean something is disastrous, but you also know when something deserves closer attention.

That’s why I often look at real estate situations on a spectrum—from the rainbows-and-unicorns scenario all the way to the worst-case scenario.

Most situations land somewhere in between.

The goal isn’t to scare clients or sugarcoat things. It’s to identify possibilities, gather information, and make a thoughtful decision.

That’s also part of the thinking behind The Best House Might Be the One Everyone Else Missed. Experience can help distinguish between a property that deserves additional investigation and one that other buyers may simply have overlooked.

The question isn’t only:

“How much experience do you have?”

It’s also:

“How does your experience change the way you advise me?”

That’s a much more revealing conversation.

Market Knowledge Should Go Beyond Knowing Recent Sales

Local market knowledge is important, but it shouldn’t be confused with memorizing statistics.

A Realtor should understand what those numbers mean in practice.

What are buyers responding to?

How much negotiating room are we actually seeing?

Are certain price ranges behaving differently?

What happens when a home sits longer than expected?

How are different property types performing?

What are buyers noticing during showings?

That last question matters more than many sellers realize. In The Psychology of Homebuying: How Buyer Perception Shapes Every Showing, I explored how buyers experience a home and how seemingly small details can influence their perception of value.

Market knowledge combines data with what an experienced agent is actually seeing in homes, negotiations, showings, offers, and conversations with consumers.

Pay Attention to Whether They’re Willing to Tell You Something You Don’t Want to Hear

This may be one of the most important qualities to look for.

Your Realtor should not be a yes-person.

Sometimes the best advice isn’t the advice you hoped to receive.

A seller may want to price higher than the market supports.

A buyer may become emotionally attached to a property with concerns that deserve careful consideration.

Someone may want to make an improvement before selling that probably won’t produce the return they expect.

A buyer may technically qualify for more house than they comfortably want to afford.

There are plenty of situations where the easiest response for an agent would be to simply agree.

But representation isn’t about agreement.

It’s about giving you enough information to make an informed decision—even when that means having an uncomfortable conversation.

My clients ultimately make their own decisions. My responsibility is to help them understand the possibilities, risks, opportunities, and consequences surrounding those decisions.

That’s the difference between being told what you want to hear and being properly advised.

Personality Fit Matters More Than People Admit

You don’t need to become best friends with your Realtor.

But you should feel comfortable working with them.

Buying or selling a home can mean weeks or months of communication. There may be stressful moments, unexpected changes, difficult negotiations, and decisions involving a substantial amount of money.

You should be able to ask questions.

You should feel comfortable disagreeing.

You should be able to say, “I don’t understand.”

And perhaps most importantly, you should trust that the person advising you is focused on your goals rather than simply getting the transaction closed.

Different clients also want different communication styles.

Some want every detail.

Others want the important points summarized.

Some want frequent conversations.

Others prefer communication only when something requires their attention.

There isn’t one correct style.

The important question is whether your Realtor can adapt their service to the way you need to work.

Interview More Than One Realtor If You Need To

You are allowed to interview agents.

In fact, for many consumers, it’s a very good idea.

The purpose isn’t necessarily to find the agent who gives you the answers you like best. It’s to understand how different Realtors approach the job.

Ask them how they communicate.

Ask what their process looks like.

Ask how they handle problems.

Ask sellers how they determine pricing and what happens if the initial strategy isn’t producing results.

Ask buyer agents how they help clients evaluate properties and structure offers.

Ask what happens after you’re under contract.

And ask them what they think their role is in your decision-making process.

That answer alone can tell you quite a bit.

If you’re selling, interviewing more than one listing agent can be especially helpful. A listing presentation shouldn’t simply be a competition over who suggests the highest list price or presents the flashiest marketing package. Instead, pay attention to how each agent thinks: how they arrive at their pricing recommendation, how they plan to position your home, how they’ll communicate with you, and what their strategy is if the market doesn’t respond as expected.

You are choosing the person who will help you navigate the entire sale.

Don’t Choose a Realtor Based Solely on the Highest Suggested List Price

This deserves its own section.

If you’re interviewing agents to sell your home and three Realtors suggest three different price ranges, the agent suggesting the highest number isn’t automatically the best choice.

Ask why.

What comparable properties support that price?

What adjustments were considered?

What is happening in your specific market segment?

What would the strategy be if buyers don’t respond?

As a Pricing Strategy Advisor (PSA), I believe pricing should be a conversation supported by market evidence—not a number selected because it sounds appealing.

An ambitious price doesn’t create market value.

The market still gets a vote.

This is also why automated estimates only tell part of the story, something I discussed in Why ‘Zestimate’ Isn’t the Full Story (and What Actually Determines Value).

Your Realtor should be able to explain the reasoning behind their recommendation rather than simply hand you a number.

Don’t Choose Based Solely on Commission, Either

Cost matters. Of course it does.

But when comparing Realtors, make sure you’re also comparing the actual service, experience, strategy, communication, marketing, availability, negotiation approach, and representation being offered.

Two agents can charge differently because they may be providing very different services.

Rather than asking only, “What do you charge?”

Ask:

“What am I receiving, and how will you represent me?”

Then evaluate the entire picture.

Ask What Happens When Something Goes Wrong

This might be my favorite interview question.

Real estate rarely follows a perfectly straight line.

Inspections uncover things.

Appraisals come in unexpectedly.

Financing changes.

Buyers get nervous.

Sellers reconsider decisions.

Timelines shift.

Contract issues appear.

Another property suddenly comes onto the market.

That’s why choosing a Realtor based entirely on what happens when everything goes right doesn’t tell you enough.

Ask:

“Tell me about a transaction that became complicated. What happened, and how did you handle it?”

You’re not necessarily looking for a dramatic rescue story.

You’re listening for how that agent thinks.

Do they gather information?

Do they communicate?

Do they identify options?

Do they collaborate with the other professionals involved?

Do they stay calm enough to actually solve the problem?

Negotiation is often part of that process, which is why I wrote The Art of Negotiation: What Really Happens Behind the Scenes. Good negotiation isn’t always about making dramatic demands. Often, it’s about understanding everyone’s position well enough to find a workable path forward.

Look at Reviews — But Read Them, Don’t Just Count Them

Online reviews can be incredibly useful when evaluating Realtors.

But don’t stop at the star rating.

Read what former clients actually say.

Look for patterns.

Do clients repeatedly mention communication?

Problem-solving?

Knowledge?

Patience?

Negotiation?

Honesty?

Feeling prepared?

Those recurring themes tell you much more about someone’s service than the number beside the stars.

And pay particular attention to reviews describing situations similar to yours.

Someone relocating from another state may value different aspects of an agent’s service than someone selling a longtime family home. A first-time buyer may need a different level of education than someone purchasing their fifth property.

The right Realtor should have a process while still recognizing that your transaction isn’t interchangeable with everyone else’s.

A Few Questions Worth Asking Before You Choose

You don’t need to conduct a two-hour job interview.

But these questions can lead to meaningful conversations:

• How will we communicate, and how often?
• What does your process look like from beginning to end?
• How do you help clients make decisions?
• What happens when we disagree?
• How do you approach negotiation?
• How do you handle unexpected problems?
• How does your experience benefit me specifically?
• What do you expect from your clients?
• Who will I actually be communicating with throughout the transaction?
• What makes your approach different?
• What happens after I sign an agreement with you?

Listen to more than the answer.

Pay attention to whether the Realtor takes the time to explain it.

FAQs About Choosing a Realtor

Should I interview multiple Realtors?

You certainly can. Interviewing multiple agents can help you compare communication styles, experience, strategy, services, and personality fit. The goal isn’t necessarily to interview as many people as possible; it’s to feel confident that you understand who you’re hiring and how they will represent you.

Should I use a friend or family member who is a Realtor?

Possibly—but the relationship alone shouldn’t make the decision. Evaluate them using the same standards you would any other professional. Consider their experience, knowledge, availability, communication style, service area, and whether you’re comfortable having candid financial and strategic conversations with them.

Is the Realtor with the most sales automatically the best?

Not necessarily. Transaction experience is valuable, but production numbers alone don’t tell you how an agent communicates, advises clients, solves problems, or manages their workload. Ask how their experience will specifically benefit your transaction.

How important is local experience?

Local knowledge can be extremely valuable because real estate conditions can vary substantially by area, price range, and property type. An agent should understand both the available market data and what is happening on the ground with buyers, sellers, properties, and negotiations.

Should buyers and sellers choose Realtors differently?

Some of the core qualities are the same: communication, experience, honesty, market knowledge, negotiation skills, and strategic thinking. But you’ll also want to evaluate experience specific to your needs. Sellers should explore pricing, preparation, marketing, and listing strategy, while buyers should understand how the agent approaches property evaluation, offers, inspections, negotiations, and the contract-to-closing process.

How do I know if a Realtor is the right personality fit?

You should feel comfortable asking questions, expressing concerns, disagreeing, and discussing your priorities openly. You don’t need identical personalities. You need mutual respect, clear communication, and confidence that the agent understands your goals.

Closing Thoughts

Choosing the right Realtor isn’t about finding someone who will agree with everything you say.

And it isn’t necessarily about finding the biggest name, the highest sales number, the lowest fee, or the person who promises you the most.

You’re choosing an advisor for a transaction that may involve one of your largest financial assets.

Look for someone who communicates.

Someone who thinks strategically.

Someone whose experience has taught them how to recognize opportunities and anticipate problems.

Someone who understands the market but is still willing to investigate rather than assume.

Someone who will tell you the truth even when the easier answer would be more comfortable.

And someone whose personality and communication style allow you to work together effectively.

After over 150 home sales, I’ve learned that no two transactions are exactly alike. The properties change. The markets change. The problems change. And most importantly, the people and their goals change.

That’s why good representation isn’t simply about knowing real estate.

It’s about knowing how to guide people through real estate.

Your Goals. Strategic Guidance. Empowered Decisions.